I first heard of Chuck Norris Facts about a year ago but never looked into them – I guess I really didn’t understand what it was all about. Let me tell you, I have been missing out! If you don’t know, the Chuck Norris Facts lists are some hilarious “facts” based on Chuck Norris.
Here are a few of my favorites: 1
- While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
- When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
- Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
More Information
The Chuck Norris Facts are generally said to have been based on Late Night With Conan O’Brien skit but, like everything else on the Internet, they’ve gotten a life of their own! There’s a Chuck Norris iGoogle Gadget, a Apple Dashboard Widget and even a Chuck Norris Facts WordPress Plugin!
Read more about the Chuck Norris Facts on Wikipedia.
1 These were all taken from Chuck Norris Facts.com – the best collection of Chuck Norris Facts on the Internet!
Is Chuck bald and does he wear a rug? It looks like it to me on Walker Texas Ranger.
I love the Chuck norris facts. i heard about them a few months ago and i was so enthralled by them. hilarious.
It’s good to see someone is worshiping the same shrine as I do. If you are in need for some more Chuck jokes, you are welcome to my web site.
I think these chuck norris facts are funny. I also think the chuck norris lever Conan pulls to get a scene playback is funny. I have no idea why!
you know I love the chuck!
LOL nice facts
It’s been ages since I last saw an episode of that show.
It’s a little strange these jokes are still popular, considering they reached peak about one year ago. Guess people just love Chuck.
Good stuff! Chuck is the MAN!
My favorite is “There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.”
That’s one of my favorites too!
Hehe, check out this one: “Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.”
Most people don’t realize that he started out as a bad guy in one of Bruce Lee’s movies, Return of the Dragon.
BWHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sorry for intruding, I found you while searching for Wisdom of the Norris, and I had never heard of some of these….they are great!!!!
HAHA – oh it’s been a while since I caught up on Chuck Norris. My favorite was…”Chuck Norris does not walk, the earth moves and when he wants to run, the earth moves faster!”
Harris
Chuck Norris is taking over the WWW, and there ain’t nobody gonna stop him. Do it Chucky!!
He already owns WWW, haven’t you heard?!
i just discovered these things a couple weeks ago
great list the website is chock full of ‘em, though
sorry, Wrong URL
Good stuff. But I actually prefer Jack Bauer facts
Funny
I’ve heard a few more like chuck norris can slam a revolving door and the giraffe was made when chuck norris uppercutted a horse.
I actually LOL, I haven’t heard some of these before thanks for the post. There was one that I have heard that you don’t have it goes a little like this “Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse and created the giraffe.” Hope you guys like it!
haha! there are some good ones on here but some of my favourites are “jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through dry land” and “according to einsteins theory of relativity, chuck norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday” and one more “chuck norris shoots a cow which he then makes into beef jerky which he eats. soon he craps out a bullet which he uses to kill another cow which he then makes into beef jerky. this is what some people refer to as the circle of life”
Chuck Norris is the best!
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